This is the Whoserpedia's page for Greatest Hits lyrics, covering both the US and UK series.
- 1 90210
- 2 Accounting
- 3 Acne (1)
- 4 Acne (2)
- 5 Airline Travel
- 6 Ant Farmer
- 7 Astronaut (1)
- 8 Astronaut (2)
- 9 Attorney
- 10 Backpacking
- 11 Barista
- 12 Barnyard
- 13 Bartender
- 14 Bathroom
- 15 Beach (1)
- 16 Beach (2)
- 17 Beauty Salon (1)
- 18 Beauty Salon (2)
- 19 Beekeeper
- 20 Bus Driver
- 21 Butcher
- 22 Butcher (DVD Bonus)
- 23 Camping in the Wild
- 24 Car (1)
- 25 Car (2)
- 26 Chiropractor
- 27 Circus
- 28 Coast Guard (1)
- 29 Coast Guard (2)
- 30 College
- 31 Construction Site
- 32 Cowboy (1)
- 33 Cowboy (2)
- 34 Dallas (1)
- 35 Dallas (2)
- 36 Dentist
- 37 Detective and Cop Shows
- 38 DIY / Hardware Store
- 39 Doctor (1)
- 40 Doctor (2)
- 41 Dog Walker
- 42 Exterminator (1)
- 43 Exterminator (2)
- 44 Farmer
- 45 Fast Food Worker
- 46 Fast Food Restaurant
- 47 Fire Fighter (1)
- 48 Fire Fighter (2)
- 49 Fire Fighter (3)
- 50 Fish Cutter
- 51 Flight Attendant
- 52 Football (1)
- 53 Football (2)
- 54 Garbage Man
- 55 Golf
- 56 Grandparents
- 57 Gym
- 58 Hairdresser (1)
- 59 Hairdresser (2)
- 60 Halloween
- 61 Hitman
- 62 Hockey
- 63 Holidays (1)
- 64 Holidays (2)
- 65 Horror (1)
- 66 Horror (2)
- 67 Horror (3)
- 68 Hospital (UK)
- 69 Hospital (1)
- 70 Hospital (2)
- 71 Hypochondriacs
- 72 James Bond / International Spy (1)
- 73 James Bond / International Spy (2)
- 74 Jail
- 75 Kindergarten
- 76 Las Vegas (1)
- 77 Las Vegas (2)
- 78 Lifeguard (1)
- 79 Lifeguard (2)
- 80 Lifeguard (3)
- 81 Locker Room
- 82 Los Angeles (1)
- 83 Los Angeles (2)
- 84 Lunch Lady
- 85 Mall (1)
- 86 Mall (2)
- 87 Marine Corps
- 88 Marriage
- 89 Mechanic (1)
- 90 Mechanic (2)
- 91 Mechanic (3)
- 92 Motel (1)
- 93 Motel (2)
- 94 Motel (3)
- 95 Motel (4)
- 96 Motorcycle (1)
- 97 Motorcycle (2)
- 98 Movie Star
- 99 New Orleans (1)
- 100 New Orleans (2)
- 101 New York City
- 102 Norway (1)
- 103 Norway (2)
- 104 Nurse (1)
- 105 Nurse (2)
- 106 Paris
- 107 Petrol Station
- 108 Pizza Place
- 109 Plastic Surgeon (1)
- 110 Plastic Surgeon (2)
- 111 Plumber (UK)
- 112 Plumber (1)
- 113 Plumber (2)
- 114 Plumber (3)
- 115 Postal Worker
- 116 Pregnancy (1)
- 117 Pregnancy (2)
- 118 President (1)
- 119 President (2)
- 120 Private Eye
- 121 Pro Bowler
- 122 Psychiatrist
- 123 Race Car Driver (1)
- 124 Race Car Driver (2)
- 125 Retirement (1)
- 126 Retirement (2)
- 127 Rome (1)
- 128 Rome (2)
- 129 Roommate
- 130 Safari (1)
- 131 Safari (2)
- 132 Safari (3)
- 133 Safari (4)
- 134 San Francisco (1)
- 135 San Francisco (2)
- 136 Science Fiction
- 137 Scoutmaster
- 138 Soccer
- 139 Spa
- 140 Spring Break
- 141 Supermarket (1)
- 142 Supermarket (2)
- 143 Taxi Driver (1)
- 144 Taxi Driver (2)
- 145 Teacher
- 146 Therapist
- 147 Traveling Salesman (1)
- 148 Traveling Salesman (2)
- 149 Unattractive Men
- 150 Water Park (1)
- 151 Water Park (2)
- 152 Warrior Princess
- 153 Western
- 154 Women
- 155 Wrestler
- 156 Zookeeper (1)
- 157 Zookeeper (2)
- 158 Zookeeper (3)
- 159 Zookeeper (4)
Nobody's Ugly (Rhythm and Blues)
We'll Be Back (Japanese Pop)
Get out! Get out!
Listen to me, here's a fact you will believe
You cheated on me Now I want your ass to leave
That is right, none of this is funny
Just pack your bags, and give me all your money!
I said, "D-I-V-O-R-C-E-I-R-Sss!"
I said, "D-I-V-O-R-C-E-I-R-S!"
Your Love Has Bankrupted Me (Swing)
Because, I would bet seven
hoping that your love would, take me all the way to Heaven
but I guess when you gamble, you've got no luck
Your love has left me bankrupt
Oh, chapter eleven of the heart's what I got, it's hot
Chapter eleven of the heart's what I got
And when you ain't got me, ain't got nobody
See, 'cause chapter eleven is what I am
because your looove has left meee bankrupt
Why don't you get out of here? Oh, yeah!
Deduct This (Early Rock and Roll)
(as Little Richard) Whoo!
Here's something, I know you'll see
You'd better, better save all your receipts
because you've better save them
because you'll do the rest
Because if you don't, a-save your receipts
An accountant deduct, you'd better believe me
because, a-IRS deduct this!
Deduct! You're screwed!
Don't save it, now you're sued!
You'd better deduct this!
Pop It (Mariachi)
Oily Cheeks (Les Miserables)
I'm Clearin' Up (Swing)
I'm Putting Cream on it, I Don't Care who Sees (Bluegrass Rap)
Coffee or Beef? (Samba)
Somebody Wake Up the Fat Guy (Rock and Roll)
If We're Going Down, I'm Doing the Stewardess (Rhythm and Blues)
Hey Look! Picnic (French Can-Can)
Insects and the Single Girl (Sitcom Theme Song)
I've Got a Thorax to Grind With You (The B52s)
Too Close in a Capsule (Folk)
Splash Down! (Punk)
Houston, We've got a Problem (Aerosmith & Run DMC)
One Small Step for Man (New Wave)
Sue Him. Sue Him Big (Yiddish Folk)
Listen to me darling, and listen to this song.
If somebody hurts you or they might do you wrong,
There's only one thing that you can do.
You've got to sue.
And sue him big.
Let me tell you something, listen to mom,
Because if it hurts you, listen to this psalm.
If they hurt you,
You know-yi-yi you've got to sue big.
Because you've got to sue, sue, sue.
That's what you've got to do, got to sue.
I've been with you, from the cradle.
Oy my goodness, dreidel dreidel dreidel.
Just sue, sue,
Oy, got to sue.
Call me sometime!
Sequester This! (Jug Band)
Well, you know in school sometimes there's a semester.
When you're in a case you've got to sequester.
That's when you move from state's aid,
And you know you're in denial.
Because you've done some wrong, can't get a fair trial.
You've got to sequester over there or sequester over here.
Got to sequester in someplace else that I know that is not clear.
Because if you can do it, you'll never get your case heard.
And now I'm going to this...
(picks up a jug and starts blowing but the music stops)
My jug broke!
Attorneeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! (Yoko Ono)
When I met John, what could I do?
I broke up the Beatles, they wanted to sue.
So I got myself a lawyer, and they did too.
I believe this is what the lawyer's called, I tell you,
(screams long high pitched note)
Killer on The Loose (Rap)
Scraping Bark off a Tree (Opera)
Grounds for Divorce (Johnny Cash and Kanye West)
You're Just a Chicken, But What the Cluck? (German Drinking Song)
You're just a chicken, but what the cluck?
I'm a man who's full of luck.
I will give my chicken a feel.
Pull down my lederhosen and my glockenspiel.
Is That an Ear of Corn, or Are You Happy to See Me? (Punk)
You May Be Just a Horse, But You've Got a Hell of an Ass (Romantic French Ballad)
I want to take you and gallop away.
I love you, my horse. You're Maurice Chevalier.
I love your ass 'cause it is so tight and round.
And when I jump on your saddle, I'm up off the ground.
I love you. You are my horse.
You're my true love and you caused my divorce.
Too Much Salt on The Rim (Barry White and Nicki Minaj)
Why's The Floor So Sticky? (Modern Funk)
If You're Out of Toilet Paper, Use the Towel Marked His (Rock Opera)
You Are My Suds, I Am Your Sponge ('50s Hit)
I'm So Small Because You Used All the Hot Water (Protest)
Fair Skin and No Lotion (Johnny Cash and Drake)
Kelp (German Metal)
Sand in the Crack (Opera)
Flirting With the Life Guard (Amy Winehouse and Christopher Walken)
Beauty Salon (1)
Moose Me (Techno)
Wax on, Wax off (Ska)
Beauty Salon (2)
You're Soaking in it (Prince and Johnny Cash)
The Shiatsu Is Too Hard (German Opera)
Hornets, Yellow Jackets, and Wasps (Ska)
Grabbing My Pollen (Green Day)
Whack the Hive (Square Dance)
You're Not on My Root / Route (Michael Jackson)
Pffffffffffffff (Country and Western)
Hmph hmph hmph hmph, crank crank, tssssh
Hmph hmph hmph hmph, crank crank, tssssh
Shoomp, ha ha ha ha, come on, come on, tssssh, tssssh
Hmph hmph, crank crank, shunk, TING, clink!
I Got a Flat Tire, I Got a Flat Tire ('80s Funk)
Tenderize This! (Disco)
Who's Got the Pork? (Ray Charles' Cousin, Buddy)
Weiners, Legs, and Chops (Ska)
Butcher (DVD Bonus)
Quit Poking the Rump Roast (Broadway)
Weiners, Legs, and Chops (Ska)
Camping in the Wild
Hand Me Some Leaves ('60s Protest)
Well, I gone in the woods. Not my type.
I went behind the bushes. Ooh, I gotta wipe.
But let me tell you something, in my dreams.
Hey you, stop staring at me and hand me some leaves.
What's That Noise? (Reggae)
Oh oh eh oh oh oh eh eh,
Listen man, come now.
Now let me, me tell you somethin'
That me think ain't no good.
Me like to hike and camp
And then me come out to the wood.
Me got meself a lot of food
That me don't like to share.
Roar! Oh my goodness what is that noise,
And could it be a bear?
Do do do do do do do do do do,
Do do do do do do do do.
Look At the Different Things (Motown)
Well, now tell me, now what do you see?
There goes some wood, some ants, and maybe a chipmunk in the tree.
There goes a picnic apple, and there goes a little kid,
And there goes a jar of mustard fallen over, and there's it's lid.
All these things in the forest, ai!
All these things in the forest, ai!
You got deer, you got mice,
You got squirrels, ain't that nice?
And there's a couple makin' love. Say what?
Now there's a couple makin' love. Shucks!
Beep, Beep! Snore, Snore (Garage Rock)
Out of Gas (Greek Wedding)
My Car is a Metaphor (German Techno)
Behind Tinted Windows (Two Tenors)
Crackedy Crack, Don't Talk Back (Tango)
Is That a Bulging Disc, Or Are You Happy to See Me? (Boogie Woogie)
Readjusting-justing While the Wind is Gusting-gusting (Gilbert and Sullivan)
(elephant sound) (Hawaiian)
Lion of Love (Fats Domino)
Coast Guard (1)
Is the Bow the pointy End? (Snoop Dog and His Dog)
Only one Life Jacket (Bollywood)
Coast Guard (2)
Women & Children first (Disco)
Raa Raa Raa Ska Raa Raa (Ska)
Alma Mata Alma Fata (Cuban)
I Find You Riveting (French Ballad)
Hard Hat Vertigo (Motown)
Don't Touch the Wire, I'm Not Grounded (Wartime Hit)
I Can See My House From Here ('1940s Children's Hit)
(hock) (pllt) (ding!) (Early Vaudeville)
The Sounds of Stirrups (Simon and Garfunkel)
You Yellow Bellied Lily Livered Ooooh Mother (Run DMC)
Mm Moo (Hanson)
Hey, That Horse Looks Good (Grunge)
They Shot My Pa (Doo Wop Ballad)
Long Boots and Short Horses (The Lion King)
Everything's Bigger (Cajun)
Clowns in a Barrel (Rap Battle)
G is for Gun (The Muppets)
Just Say Novacaine (Salsa)
Oh before you put the drill in my mouth, don't be so dumb.
You better use a lot of Novacaine to make my gums numb.
'Cause if it hurts very much, out I must pass.
And I don't wany any of your laughing gas.
Wayne: So say Novacaine,
Chip: When you are feeling pain.
Wayne: Oh just say No-no-no-no,
It Has to Come Out (Wilson Pickett)
Huh. All right, now. Whoo!
Hey, now I took a trip to the dentist. I don't like him the best,
But I had to make a visit 'cause I had an abcess.
My little filling had rusted
And that's why he had to pull my bicuspid.
Chip: It had to come out.
Come on now!
I said it had to
Both: Come out!
Here we go, now.
Hey, I tried to use a doorknob, an anvil for gravity.
Lord try to help me pull that tooth, 'cause of the cavity.
Well my dentist really worked. He really was a trier.
At first he tried to drill and then he tried the pliers
Oh, he made me scream and shout.
Both: Got to come out.
Both: It's got to come out.
Chip: Baby, baby, there ain't no doubt.
Wayne: Ooh, ow.
I Ain't Wearing No Braces (Heavy Metal)
Now look at me, I'd like to eat meat.
I think red meat
Is a really good treat.
I'm in a lot of pain-ah.
I should wear my retainer.
I should wear braces. Yeah, yeah!
I don't give a damn. Why don't you just look it?
I really don't care if my two front teeth are crooked. Yeah.
I don't want them. Just look at him.
His mouth is full all of aluminium.
Detective and Cop Shows
Hey You, Get Off McCloud (Rolling Stones)
Ah, Just One More Thing (Opera)
Spritzer and Hutch (Burlesque Stripper Song)
DIY / Hardware Store
I'm Your Nail, So Hammer Me (Disco)
What the Hell Is It With All These Instructions? (Protest)
What Have You Done With My Tool? ('70s Reggae)
Take Two and Call Me in the Morning (Rodgers and Hammerstein)
Cough While I Twist (Chubby Checker)
This Is Going to Hurt a Little (Mambo)
Gallstones Are a Girl's Worst Friend (Marilyn Monroe)
My Gown Has No Back (Stadium Rock)
Scoop it Up (Bluegrass)
Don't Be Sniffing There (Funk)
No More Soft Food For You (Neville Brothers)
Snarky the Mouse with PMS (Big Band Instrumental)
They're in the Walls ('80s Rock)
Rat's Life (Lounge)
Ooh! A Spider! (Rockabilly)
You Go Under the House (Eartha Kitt)
Ants, Rats, and Gypsy Moths (Cher)
Hens in The Coop (Tap Dance)
Milking with Cold Hands (Adele)
Fast Food Worker
You're My Happy Meals and I'm Your Big Mac (Dixie Land)
Fast Food (Ice-T)
Fast Food Restaurant
Would you like fries with That? (Les Miserables)
Trade a Burger for some Toilet Paper (Russian Folk)
Fire Fighter (1)
Sliding Down the Pole (Beach Boys)
We Will Hose You (Queen)
Four Days On, Two Weeks Off (Latin Pop)
Fire Fighter (2)
Carry Your Head On My Shoulder (The Osmond Brothers)
Oops, We Hit the Dog (Country Boogie)
Fire Fighter (3)
Bring Out The Hose (60's Girl Group)
Catch The Baby (Calypso)
Of Cod and Country (Swing)
Someone Call the Carps (Jamaican Reggae)
Your Plaice or Mine? (Rock and Roll)
You Can't Use the First Class Can (Tom Petty)
Don't Call Me a Waitress (Flapper)
Do You Want Meat or Fish? (Thrash)
Who's That Tight End? (Disco)
Dallas 7, Green Bay 10 (Russian Ballad)
I Said Punt (Red Hot Chili Peppers)
Leg Crack, Leg Crack (Punk)
Look how far I can Kick (Bruce Springsteen and Pavarotti)
Dump It (Young Michael Jackson)
Clang Bang Clang Bang Clang Clang Bang Bang Clang Bang (Tin Pan Alley)
Grab My Putter (Vaudeville)
Hey, a Squirrel Chewed My Bag (Lounge)
Teeth in a Glass (Dueling Elvis')
I Never Really Loved your Grandma (Willie Nelson and The Incredible Hulk)
Hernia! (Latin Pop)
Love on the Treadmill (Beyoncé)
No Curls, Flat Scalp (CeeLo Green)
Mousse Me Up (Justin Bieber)
Look at my Roots (Beyonce)
Sugar High (Ragtime)
Spliters in your Knuckles (80's Hit)
Garrote Garrote Garrote (Duran Duran)
The Sound of Silencers (Salsa)
Poison in Your Wine (Rockabilly)
Bodycheck of Love (Fats Domino)
Pffff (Smokey Robinson)
I Wanna Score on You (Cool and the Gang)
Don't Peak at your Gifts (Bollywood Musical)
Fourth of July Barbeque Blowout (Hamilton)
Budget Halloween (Bob Dylan)
Trick or Treat (Early Jazz)
The Moon is Full and I'm Getting Hairy (Jitterbug)
Hit Me With Your Best Bolt (Pat Benatar)
Devil. There's a Devil. Whoa Devil. Whoa, That's a Devil (Red Hot Chili Peppers)
The Eyes are Moving (Ska)
The Werewolf of Versailles (Les Miserables)
We Need Brains (Bob Dylan and The Swedish Chef)
Let's Separate (Early Jazz)
Don't Open That Door (The Munchkins)
Wow, This Soup is Cold ('50s Melody)
Slice Me, Dice Me, Nicedly Nice Me ('70s Tune)
I May Be Just an Optometrist, But I Only Have Eyes For You (Children's Classic)
I Just Sewed Up My Watch in You (Korean Pop featuring Johnny Cash)
ICU (Power Metal)
Love and a Gunshot in the Emergency (Bruce Springsteen and Stevie Wonder)
Obamacare (Beasie Boys)
Does It Look Swollen to You? (Reggae)
I've Got Them And They Hang Like Grapes (German Drinking Song)
Marry You, I Can't, I've Got a Penile Implant (Disco)
James Bond / International Spy (1)
How Does an Old Guy Like Me Get Such Young Chicks? (Hawaiian)
My Shoe is a Gun (Blues)
Blofeld On My Mind (Ethel Merman)
James Bond / International Spy (2)
007 Heaven (Chuck Berry)
I Just Do It For The Women (Aerosmith)
No, I Expect You To Die (Tina Turner)
License Plates and Cigarettes (Techno)
Conjugal Visit (Early Jazz)
I Just Peed During Naptime (Big Band)
I'm Pulling Sally's Pigtails (Kanye West and Neil Diamond)
Las Vegas (1)
I Dropped My Chips in Your Nuts (AC/DC)
High Roller Hooker (Bluegrass)
Roulette of Love (The Supremes)
Las Vegas (2)
I Lost My Wife on a Pair of Threes (Modern Calypso)
Watered Down Drinks (Russian)
Shark, Shark, I Think I See a Shark (Gospel)
Son of a Beach (Salsa)
(drowning sound) (Lounge)
Sunburns and Sand (Rock & Roll)
My Trunks are Riding Up (Les Miserables)
Riptide (Line Dancing)
Great White (Ska)
If You Drop the Soap, Leave It Where It Is (French Ballad)
You Call It Football, I Call It Soccer. What the Hell? (Disco)
Hey, Coach, What's With the Lederhosen? (German Drinking Song)
Los Angeles (1)
Free Lakers Tickets (Ska)
I'm On a New Diet (Prince and Keanu Reeves)
Los Angeles (2)
MOVE! (The Beach Boys)
I'm Getting you in The Tar Pit (Japanese Metal)
Aprons, Hair Nets, and Knee Highs (Hillbilly)
Don't Want Your Milk (Punk)
Can't Find My Way Out (Disco)
There's No Smoking Here (Lady Gaga)
Got Sick in the Food Court (Nicki Minaj)
Trapped on an Escalator (Japanese pop)
Shine Those Shoes (Tex Mex)
Give Me Twenty (Jewel)
Let's Take a Shower (Swing)
Invading Peru For the Hell of It (Carlos Santana)
Too Drunk to Honeymoon (Honkey Tonk)
I'm the Groom (Beach Boys)
Cashbar (The B52s)
Check Under the Hood ('70s Funk)
I'm Going to Lube You Whether You Like It Or Not (Snoop Dogg)
Super Transmission (Stevie Wonder)
You're Down a Quart (Jason Derulo)
Jump Start (Tap Dance Music)
GPS, Internet, Everything But a Damn Engine (Ed Sheeran)
This Damn Seat Ain’t Adjustable (Drunk Aunt Sheila)
Pool on The Roof (Elvis)
The Saddest Gift Shop in the World (Simon & Garfunkle)
Room 237 (Snoop Dog & Lil Wayne)
What's that Stain on the Lampshade? (Cab Calloway)
Nothing in the Vending Machine (Bluegrass)
Más Huevos Por Favor! (Latin Pop)
No Mint on The Pillow (Lounge)
Little Bar of Soap (Calypso)
Old Lady On My Hog (Mariachi)
Asphalt and Chaps ('60s Protest)
(engine sound) (Thrash)
The Harley of Seville (Opera)
Alabama Motorcycle Mama With the Llama (Boogie Woogie)
No Pictures, Please! (Ska)
I Got People for Everything (Mumford & Sons)
New Orleans (1)
Beads for Boobs (Irish Rock)
I'm Eating My Way Through a Broken Heart (Stadium Rock with the mic going in and out)
New Orleans (2)
I Found My Honey at the Mardi Gras (Animatronic Country Bear Band song for kids)
Booze in a Six Foot Glass (Beyoncé)
New York City
The Ball is Dropping (Ozzy Osbourne)
Where's The Snow? (Kabuki)
Warm Warm Sauna, Cold Cold Water (Honkey Tonk)
When the Hell Is It Going to Get Dark? (Opera)
A Boy Named Hagar (Johnny Cash)
Norway's Lovely, Would Rather Be in Greece (Temptations with the tempo speeding up)
Small Small Hole, Big Big Fish (Ska)
Four Hundred Dollar Bill (Reggae)
I'm Tire of Wearing White (Wyclef Jean and the Rock)
I Wish I Were a Doctor (Rockabilly)
It's Not That Kind of Thermometer (Earth Wind and Fire)
Turn and Cough (Mariachi)
My Tower is an Eiffel (Aerosmith)
Fifty Ways to Louvre Your Lover (Greek)
Fill Me Up With Love (Love Ballad)
I'll be your fuel. You be my fool,
So fill me up. Come, baby. Pump, pump, pump.
Hey, Do Those Windows Baby (Country Western)
So, do those windows, baby. Rub my mirror clean.
I wanna see through my window. I wanna see it gleam.
Then, baby, baby, baby, I think you're oh so sweet.
A petrol attendant like you should join me in the backseat.
Hands Off My Muffler (Torch)
Hands off my muffler. Don't you know where it's been?
Hands off my muffler or I'll cover you in gasoline.
Lube Up (Disco)
Lube up! Huh! Get down!
Lube up! Fill me up now! Get down!
Well, I'm running out of gasoline on the motorway.
I pull over to a fuel station, and this is what I say.
"Everybody, lube up. Get down.
Get your pump out. Fill me up now."
Mozzarella-la-la-la-la-la (Yodelling Country Western)
Wayne: Ohlala ohlolo ohlala ohlolo.
Oh, sometimes I think that I'm a lucky fella.
On my big deep-dish I like mozarella-la,
Sometimes, I think it tastes better
If you use a little gouda or you use a little cheddar,
But I also like to use my mozarella-la-la-la.
Here we go!
Mozzellay lalalay lololeyeeee,
Yololay lolollolo lay,
Pizza Heckoutta U (College Fight Song)
Chip:: Hey! Hey!
Both: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
We're gonna bake, bake, bake all our pizza.
All the other pizza teams will bust
Because ours are flaky and rich and meaty,
And they have a special crust.
Oh here is something that'll knock you for a loop.
Pizza is a brand new food group.
That is right, don't be such a smarty.
Pizza is the best food at a frat party.
Keep the Buck (Doo Wop)
Well, well, well. Thank you, Thank you. You drove so far
In your little red and white blue car.
So thank you.
And you can keep the buck.
Oh, and I know many pizza guys across the nation.
They do this job. They don't have higher education.
Oh, so why don't you just take this dollar and put it in your hand?
And maybe you can get a better job. Maybe by bein', hmm, a trashman.
Thank you, Now keep the buuuck.
Get back in your little white truck,
And you can,
Both: Keep the buck!
Plastic Surgeon (1)
The Rhinoplasty of Seville (Opera)
Fixing My Face in the Mirror (The 80's)
Plastic Surgeon (2)
Don't Give me no Liposuction (Country)
What to do with the Extra Nipple (Russian Folk)
I'm Clogged, I'm Clogged. Oh No, I'm Clogged (British Pop)
I'm clogged. I'm going down the drain.
Flushed myself, 'cause I am half insane.
Well, I shake me job for real not fake.
I'm so clogged, I need a plumbing snake.
Liquid Draino, give it to me,
'Cause I'm clo-o-o-o-o-ogged.
Brad: I'm clogged.
I'm Not Putting My Hand In There (Reggae)
Brad and Wayne: Eo!
Brad: Eo, da de de de de de o deo.
Come now, come on, come come come again.
Come come, no no no no no.
You've got a problem with your pipes, well don't look back.
I'm not stickin' my hand in that plumbers crack.
Because you sit on me, man. Me wedding ring is stuck,
But you must be kinda crazy. Stick me hand up in that muck.
No no, me not gonna do that there for one thousand bucks.
Ain't not more.
Brad: No way oh, no way, I'm not gonna stick my hand in there.
I'm the Pipe Fitter (Early '50s)
Oh oh oh!
Because you, you are my type.
I've got many wrenches to fit your pipe.
You come to me with the old gripe.
I'm the pipe fitter. Screw, screw, screw, nut, bolt, and wrench.
You know, I am someone you can trust.
And I promise, my pipes will never rust.
Wayne: Oh to be, the pipe fitter.
Brad: Oh oh oh, the pipe fitter.
Sympathy For the Roto Rooter (Rolling Stones)
Yeah, oh baby.
Oh oh oh.
What do you do?
What's your job?
You've got the sink
And you know it's clogged.
It's the Roto Rooter,
And he has a very hard job.
Well, you know he's a real bad shooter.
We're talking 'bout the Roto Rooter.
Get on your little motor scooter,
And give a job to the
Both: Roto Rooter!
Wayne: Sympathy! Sympathy!
Brad: Roto Rooter, baby.
Wayne: Sympathy! Sympathy!
Brad: Roto Rooter, baby.
For the RotoRooter.
Who's Uncloggin'? (German Drinking Song)
Ja ja, pluggen ze drain.
Who, da. Who can explain?
Uh huh, because I'm tuggin',
Das ut und vein sund un uden unpluggen!
The drain, it's so clogged,
And why? It's not fair.
It's clogged. It is clogged
With all of mein hair.
I do not understand.
I'm going on a toboggan.
Dum chigga bulla oompa ga,
You Can't Flush Me Away ('90s Rhythm and Blues)
Well, you'll never never get rid of me. No one, push push.
You'll never get me to the toilet so you can flush.
I'll never never leave you, 'cause you've got part of my soul.
I'm gonna make love to you, girl, as I'm goin' down the bowl.
Baby, baby, listen to what I say.
You ain't never gonna, flush my love away.
I twirl around, any which way you please.
Baby, grab your toilet paper, 'cause I'm beggin' on my knees.
You're never fonna flush my love away.
Never gonna flush my love away.
No, never never flush my love away.
Wayne: Ehh yeah.
Snake It (Rockabilly)
My Husband's Home (Hawaiian Ukulele)
My Pants Don't Fit and My Crack is Out (Adele)
I'm Gonna Charge You More Than a Doctor (Macklemore)
Put In In The Slot ('40s Boogie Woogie)
Hey Man, Tie Up Your Dog (Tina Turner)
Screw Lamaze, Give Me The Epidural (Elvis Presley)
Ooh, Placenta (KISS)
No, You Don't Look Fat (The Clash)
Do You Want to Cut the Cord (Reggae)
That White House is Big (Talking Heads)
I'm Lying, He's Lying, We're All Lying (Swing)
Where'd You Get the Cuban? (The Doors)
Ruckus is the Caucus (Disco)
Just Do Dustin' (MC Hammer)
Someone Cut My Nose ('50s Blues)
Opening the Door That's Locked-a (Ricky Martin)
Spray Le Shoes (French Ballad)
Because my shoes you must inspect
You use Lysol to disinfect
They are bowling shoes, you must abuse them
But I will not wear them, fifty people have used them
Yes you see, ooh little bitty worms
Fifty people with foot fungus germs
Just spray them
Spray them, ooh lah lah
Gutterball (Doo Wop)
I knew this girl, that I liked
She could not bowl at all, she couldn't make a strike
She'd take the ball, her hands they were like butter
She let go down the alley, and oh-oh hit the gutter
No-oh-oh-oh the gutter-ball
Bowl Me, Strike Me, Spare Me (Jerry Lee Lewis)
Listen girl, let me tell you this
I love to bowl, and I won't miss
I'll take that ball, and that's not all
And down the pins, and I just won't miss
Now you can bowl me, strike me, spare
Oh listen girl, 'cuz I just don't care
Why don't you take your ball and get outta here
And listen to me, look at my derrière
Oh, I grab my ball, I put it down the alley
I go bowling with my girlfriend named Sally
She can't bowl, like I can
Because I've got two balls and I'm a bowling man
Bowl me, strike me, [?] this
[?] strike and you bowl, you miss
I guarantee that I won't miss
So when you [?], can you strike, can you spare me this?