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This is the Whoserpedia's page for Motown Group lyrics, covering the entire US series.

Car Jacker

Wayne Brady:
Hey, everybody. Let me tell you about a brand new dance. It's called the Car Jacker.
Well, let me tell you something. Don't open your doors.
I don't have a car, man. I want yours.
Don't you see nothing can never stop that?
I'm gonna take your car and throw away the LoJack.
Why? Why?
I like to jack!
Do the Car Jack!
Get out of the truck!
The Car Jack!

Colin Mochrie:
Every day, I like to go car jack.
Gonna take you car. You're never going to get it back.
The latest one they took made me perspire
'Cause I had Firestone tires.

Ryan Stiles:
Oh, baby. I don't know why I steal.
Don't you know, baby, that's sometimes how I feel?
The last time I stole, I didn't get far.
The vehicle I took was a police car.
I'm a fool. I took a cop car.

Wayne: He took a cop car.
Ryan: Yeah, that's what I did.

First, you gotta grab a mask. Put it on your face.
If you wanna do it and you do it right.
You wait right here, at the red light.
"Excuse me? Get your ass out!"
And then you jump on in. That's what it's all about.
Do the Car Jack.
Hey, yeah!
Do the Car Jack.
Do the Car Jack.
Not gonna get it back.
Do the Car Jack.

Dog Feeder

Wayne Brady:
Oh, sometimes I like to look in my cupboard,
Yeah, but it gets so bare, I feel like old Mother Hubbard.
Oh, I'm telling you, this is what I do to feed the dog.
Hey, to feed the dog!
Listen up, everybody!
I can feed Scruffy, and that's no bull.
I go over to my neighbour because I'm a cannibal.
And then I kill him
To feed the dog.
No, no, no. I kill that bro.
He's ten times cheaper than a can of Alpo.
Feed the dog!

Colin Mochrie:
(extremely high pitched)
Feee-eee-eee-ee-eee-eed the dog. Yeah!
Feee-eee-eee-ee-eee-eed the dog. Yeah!

Ryan Stiles:
Oh, my dog just lays there by is bowl.
I grab his Kibble and fill up that big shiny silver bowl.
He looks at me with his eyes. He looks mighty meek.
Oh my God. He's been dead for a week!
A dead dog!
I gotta stop feeding that dog!

Feed the dog!
Hey! You've got to feed the dog.
You have got to feed the dog.
You've got to feed the dog.
You've got to feed the dog!


Wayne Brady:
Come on! All right!
Being a fireman, I can't think of a job that's better.
Well, I dress in red. I got an ax and I climb the ladder.
Nothing beats my job, I do suppose.
When I go out to bars, I say "Check out my hose!".
I'm a fireman.
Woooo! I'm a fireman.
Yeah, yeah.

Colin Mochrie:
I like to put out fires all day.
It's not work. Really, it's kind of play.
I'll never be there, up on the shelf,
'Cause I always start the fires myself.
It saves time.
It saves time!

Ryan Stiles:
Sitting in that house, everyway.
Oh, each of us would love a woman to go out and play.
We're stuck there day and night at our hole.
But all the other guys tip me when I slide down the pole.
I'm a fireman.

Chop with your ax now.
Do the Fireman!
Grab your hose!
Do the Fireman!

Hockey Player

Wayne Brady:
Aw yeah. Whoa oh. Listen up now!
Here is something. I'm as slick as a fox.
I'm kicking peoples' butts. I'm in the penalty box.
I don't normally choose one sports over the other,
But in the game of hockey, you rarely find a brother.
Oh, oh. Yeah, yeah.
Do the hockey.
Grab your stick and do the hockey player.
Yeah, yeah. Do the hockey player.

Chip Esten:
They say I'm really good, but I know I really stink
'Cause all I do it go around and fall down on the rink.
And when they say I'm good, I know that they're a phony.
Just yesterday, I went and I got hit by the zamboni.
This isn't very fun. I really do suck.
I'm such a bad hockey player, I don't give a puck.
On the hockey.
I do the hockey.

Ryan Stiles:
I'm the guy down at the rink that you always see.
I have to say that there aren't many women in love with me.
When you come around, baby, there's no need for mace.
I took one too many pucks in the face.
I'm a--
I hit the zamboni line.

Now, now, now.
First you gotta do this. Here's a little trick.
Grab your face mask and then you grab your stick.
You keep on doing- bam - up on the rack.
Grab them against the glass and you hit them in the neck.
The hockey! Man, come and get you some.
Hockey players, they never have teeth in their gums.
Hockey! Hey, hey!
I do the hockey.
The hockey. Yeah, yeah!
Do the hockey!


Wayne Brady:
Wooo! Ha ha. Come on! Now, ever since I've been chopping down trees, I've been a believer. Yeah.
I get busy gnawing down things like I am a big beaver.
The best part of being a lumberjack, I carry an ax.
And when I finish working, I rub their backs
'Cause I'm a lumberjack.
'Cause I'm a lumberjack.

Ryan Stiles:
I love the guy that cuts down every tree that he sees.
After all, who needs that many trees?
You can bet I'm a guy you can call a friend.
Don't you know I'm Canadian?
Chop those trees.
Eh? Oh yeah!

Brad Sherwood:
Well, I'm chopping down those trees and I really give a shout and saying timber.
Because you know I'm a lumberjack. I'm wearing flannel and I'm a limber.
And if you want to see me chop some wood a litle bit more,
I chop a big old tree on down until it's just a two by four
Because I'm a lumberjack!


Wayne Brady:
Here we go!
Now, you want somebody that's just gravy.
Trust me, little baby, you can join the Navy.
And be a SEAL.
Yeah, and be a SEAL.
Oh, you can protect somebody's life
And end it with a knife.
Be a SEAL.
'Cause that's real.
Just be a SEAL.

Colin Mochrie:
I'm a Navy SEAL. I really love my job.
Everybody says, "Look, there goes Happy Bob".
Everybody come and give it a whirl.
Boy, I'd really like to be a girl.
But I'm not.

Ryan Stiles:
I've always wanted to be a SEAL all of my life.
So I went away, said good-bye to my wife.
When I get in my suit, people think I look cute.
I just like the feel of a tight rubber suit.
I said, Navy SEAL.

Here we go now! Do this!
Now, first you put your wetsuit on and then you grab your knife.
And then consult your manual. It might just save your life.
And then you have to put your oxygen tank, don't get a buzz.
And then you crack somebody's legs like Steven Seagal does.
It's real!
Hey, then you'd be a Navy SEAL.
Yeah, you'll be a Navy SEAL.
A Navy SEAL.
You'll be a Navy SEAL.

Park Ranger

Wayne Brady:
Alright. Yeah'.
Where can you shoot until you perspire?
Remember, only you can stop forest fires.
Because when you're a ranger, watch what you do-do.
Hey, there's Yogi. "And me, Boo-boo!"
Watch what you do. The forest is no stranger.
I look good in khakis. Why? I'm a forest ranger.
Do the forest ranger!
Yeah, yeah!
Do the forest ranger!

Colin Mochrie:
Working out there among the trees
Really isn't suitable for me.
I'm lonely, lonely as can be.
Oh, those beavers look good to me.
Do the park ranger!
Do the park ranger!

Ryan Stiles:
Sometimes when you're in the woods, you've gotta go.
You can't fool with nature. No, you can't say no.
You look around and you hear the heckler.
They're all looking at your woodpecker.
Do the park-

Yeah, man. That's the life for me.
Say what? What do I want to be?
A forest ranger!
Yeah, yeah, yeah!

All: A forest ranger!


Wayne Brady:
Come on, now! Every day, you know what I do.
You better watch out or I'll come for you.
Man, here's a fact that you don't understand.
You don't have to run 'cause I am a police man.
You see, man, you think that you're slick.
Come over here, son, for a minute. Ughh! Hit you with my stick.
Do the police officer.
I'm just kidding. Come here!

Brad Sherwood:
Well, if you ever find yourself inside a sticky wicket,
I'll be the one in the bushes whose there to give a ticket.
And also, right, if you are sick and hanging in the lurch.
Come on, baby. Take off your pants. It's time for the cavity search.
Because I am a cop and I will never stop.
It's time to do the police man and do it 'til you drop.
Do the police man. Yeah!
Do the police man!

Ryan Stiles:
None of the cops I know are on the take.
To do something like that would be a big big mistake.
They never make mistakes. They never make faux pas,
Unless someone has a video camera. Bop.
I've never been a cop. I have no idea what they do!
I've never been pulled over, for God's sake!

Now, first you've got to do. I said, "Now, stop".
You've got to have a nice uniform to be a cop.
That's what you do. You're driving in your car.
You stop pedestrians if they walk too far.
You see, man, I'm not foxing.
The best part about being a cop is you get - boxing.
Do the police man!

Put your hands in the air!
Put your hands in the air!
Up to the sky!

Sewer Worker

Wayne Brady:
Wooo! Yeah, yeah!
Now, now, now, now, now. Many people have jobs which they need to hurdle.
But sometimes I like to get in the sewer like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.
My job makes me ten times more smellier than you.
All day long, all I do is swim in poo.
Do the sewer worker!
Do the sewer worker!
Yeah, yeah!

Chip Esten:
Yeah. You're never ever gonna believe what I did.
I got my crowbar and I lifted up the lid.
I dropped down inside just to see what I could see
But all I saw was number two and number one, that's pee.
I didn't want to work there, but soon I am I liver.
I took my paddleboat and I made it to the river.
In my sewer.
In my sewer.

Wayne: Bass man, break it down!

Ryan Stiles:
I work in a sewer. Don't know what to say.
When I walk around, people run away.
I've gotta admit, it's kind of scary.
Everyone thinks I smell like Drew Carey.
Oh, oh. It's such a crime.
I run away from Ryan. That's all they do.

Now, everybody. Check it out.
Now, all you gots to do if you're filled with loves,
Put on your pants and I set of rubber gloves.
Grab a shovel, and then you begin it.
Man, is that piss? You're standing knee-deep in it.
Do the sewer. Yeah, yeah.
I'm doing the sewer.
Oh, I do the sewer worker.
Damn. I do the sewer worker.
Wooo! I do the sewer worker.


Wayne Brady:
Now, now, now, now, if you know what I mean. Yeah.
Hey, sometimes I like to use soap and get naked to get clean.
Oh, man. If you're looking for dirt, I've gots it
When I like to get sudsy under the faucet.
Take a shower!
You take a shower!
Come on, guys. Come on. Take it!

Ryan Stiles:
I like to take a shower like everyone should.
When the hot water runs on me, ooh, it feels so good.
Feels so good, I want it to last.
Every time I turn, I break the glass.
I said, oof.

Chip Esten:
Oh, come on everybody. Well, it's all the rage.
You just turn on up ahead your little shower massage.
And then I think that you know exactly what to do.
You get yourself a little soap, a little shampoo.
You put it in your hair. It looks so mean.
And when you get on out, you're looking Zestfully clean.
You do the shower, yeah.
You do the shower. Ooh.
Loofah, yeah.

Tooth Brushing

Wayne Brady:
Oh, now this song, it takes me way way back.
Back to my bathroom where I use this to get rid of plaque.
Well, gingivitis might make you sick
So I think you ought to use a waterpik.
Do the toothbrush. Yeah, yeah.
Come on!

Ryan Stiles:
I brush my teeth. Oh, don't you know I ain't dumb.
And when I'm done with my teeth, I take the bristles right across my gum.
Oh, sometimes I think, "Why do I bother?".
I keep them in a big glass of water.
'They ain't real.
Look, they come right out.

Brad Sherwood:
Well, make sure that you're teeth aren't at a loss.
Oh, grab on at that little rope and do a little floss.
Oh baby. You gotta get inside them.
Oohh, so keep on brushing all your teeth and your gums or you'll get gingivitis.
So baby, baby, do the toothbrush.
So, do the toothbrush!

Alright everybody! It's a brand new dance!
Take your finger. Come on! And put it in your mouth.
And get some toothpaste. And bbbbbbbbbwaaaa.
Hey, come on. Don't be a fool.
Hey! Do the tooth!
Do the toothbrush!
Do the toothpaste!
Hey! Do it!
Thank you!


Wayne Brady:
Now, when my wife tells me to take the garbage out.
I'm sitting on the couch watching TV when she begins to shout.
Lady, I love you. I don't want to make you mad.
I grab it. It's black and rubbery. It's made by Glad.
Take the trash out. Yeah!
I take the trash out.
And speaking of trash!

Colin Mochrie:
It's Thursday. Get the can.
It's garbage day. I am your man.
My back is out. Oh, don't you shout.
Get the garbage. Move your can right now.

Wayne: Take your trash out. Heyyy, take your trash out.

Ryan Stiles:
I'm going to tell you something and this is no lie.
Every time I take the trash out, baby, I almost die.
If I could have, this wouldn't be remote.
I live on a floating house boat.
Saying, oh!
Get... in the water... Ha.

Come on everybody!
Grab your trash bag. Come on!
Put the stuff in it. Now, they call that trash.
Hey, that's all you gotta do.
Listen, baby. Take out the trash.
Oh, yeah! You want to take out the trash.
Yeah, yeah. You know you take out the trash.
Thank you very much!