This is Whoserpedia's page for Drew Carey's Improv-a-Ganza lyrics. These are from the short-lived 2011 GSN show.
Contents
- 1 Bob's Call
- 2 Greatest Hits
- 2.1 Bank Manager Trainee
- 2.2 Big Game Hunter - "I Killed It in Kenya" (Irish Ballad)
- 2.3 Bomb Disposal
- 2.4 Dietitian - "Saturated Fat" (Bob Marley)
- 2.5 Doctor
- 2.6 Executioner - "Lethal Injection" (Old School Rap)
- 2.7 Farmer - "Dust Storm" (Jazz Ballad)
- 2.8 Gas Station Attendant
- 2.9 Gold Miner
- 2.10 Hog Farmer - "Sooie" (Country)
- 2.11 Hog Farmer - "Our Love is Like Pork" (French)
- 2.12 Lawyer
- 2.13 Lumberjack - "Flap My Jack" (Tunes for Tots)
- 2.14 Real Estate
- 2.15 Steel Worker
- 2.16 Stockbroker - "Bailout" (Memphis Soul)
- 2.17 Stripper - "You Gotta Tip Me a Twenty" (Elizabethan)
- 2.18 Unemployed
- 3 Kick It
- 4 Song Styles
Bob's Call
Bathing Suits
Gondola
Nurses
Shoes
Skydiving
Transformers
Greatest Hits
Bank Manager Trainee
Let's Leave the Dollar In ('60s Funk)
Big Game Hunter - "I Killed It in Kenya" (Irish Ballad)
Jeff: A long time ago
Far far away
I was out on the plains
Hunting all day
When what should happen to pass me
But a hippo I did see?
I killed him in Kenya
Brad: Fiddle-dee-dee
All: Fiddlee-dee-dee
Jeff: I killed him in Kenya
All: Fiddle-dee-dee
Chip: There was an elephant
I killed it so (Brad/Jeff echo: so)
How it got in my pajamas I'll never know (Jeff echo: I'll never know)
It had to be him
For it could have been me
I killed him in Kenya
All: Fiddle-dee-dee
Bomb Disposal
Short Fuse (Disco)
Dietitian - "Saturated Fat" (Bob Marley)
Chip: Oh yeah! Oh no! <scats> Ow! Ow!
Jonathan: <growls>
Jeff: Growing up, laying in the yard
I can't do no exercise, my arteries got hard
Chip: Too hard!
Jeff: I got so damn fat
From too much, from too much
All: Saturated Fat!
Chip: Fat is the fat that you...
Jeff: Saturated Fat!
Jonathan: Satur! Ated! Satur! Ated!
Chip: Polyunsaturated fat! Woooooah.
Jonathan: Oh, daddyumdah when the saturated fat is not that good
Cause it make you not feel good, you don't it want it, you know you should.
And that is right, it's right, you eat it and you know you strollin'
Don't need no saturated fat cause you want a line from mouth to your colon
All: Saturated fat!
Chip: 1, 2, 3, 4, Woah! Hey Hey!
Don't eat so much mayonnaise! Everybody!
Jeff: I ate too many potatoes and yams
Not too many saturated fat grams
But if you go to the Krispy Kreme's
You're going to have so much fat in between!
Chip: So, don't eat the fat, the fat that's in you.
Jonathan: Don't eat the fat, the fat that's in you.
Chip: Can you give me one stop!
Jonathan: Don't eat the fat, the fat that's in you. Don't eat the fat, the fat that's in you.
Jeff/Jonathan: Saturated, saturated, saturated
Chip: Two times!
Doctor
HMO (Boy Band)
Executioner - "Lethal Injection" (Old School Rap)
All: Yo! It's a lethal injection! What what! <repeat ad libs>
Jeff: MGM, get your hands up! Come on, let me see your hands up!
I committed crimes in this town
And now they're gonna try to lay me
All: DOWN
Jeff: I killed a young girl, her name was Mabel
They're gonna put me on the big flat
All: TABLE
Jonathan: That is right, there's no intersection
Ouch! My arm! A painful injection
Coming at you, gonna roll a seven
Uh oh, my a*** ain't going to heaven
Chip: Some people are lucky, some people are not
You're the kind that's not, 'cause you're 'bout to get a
All: SHOT
Chip: I got a new injection, it's not gonna feel good
I think if you do the other kind you feel REAL good
Jeff: Now the first big needle puts you out to sleep
The second injection's one you don't want to keep
That's the injection that tires your brain
The third injection makes you feel insane
Slowly, slowly you start to die
The lids go down over your eye
The people from the glass, watching your a**
Why you getting killed? You don't have to ask!
Jonathan: It's a lethal injection!
Chip: What!
Jonathan: It's a lethal injection!
Chip: What!
All: It's a lethal injection!
Chip: In your butt!
Jonathan: Lethal... check it check it check it check it check it!
<Chip pretends to scratch records>
Jonathan: L to the ethal, I to the njection
Uh oh! Get an erection
Chip on the table, that's not nice
Give it to me once!
Chip: 400 CCs, 400 CCs
Jonathan: TWICE!
All: Lethal! Lethal! Lethal! Lethal!
Chip: What you gonna do? It's a Lethal Weapon 2!
Jeff: Lethal injection, you're 'bout to die.
Why you gonna die? Yo, don't ask
ALL: WHY
Jeff: You killed 40 people and you didn't even care
You mother***er, just lie down there!
Chip: Shot for shot, that's the shot I got! (x2)
All: Shot for shot, that's the shot I got!
Chip: You think you are the lucky one, but you are not.
All: Lethal injection! Lethal injection! Lethal injection! Lethal injection!
Jeff: Peace!
Farmer - "Dust Storm" (Jazz Ballad)
Chip: Thank you all for coming down to the feed barn
Jeff: Hay is half-off while we're on stage
Chip: Hey!
Jeff: What?
Chip: Half-off!
Jeff: Oh.
<Chip prepares to sing.>
Jeff <interrupting>: Dust STOOOOOOOORM!
Dusty dusty wind.
Sand... in my shoes.
I can't grow a goddamn thing.
Ooo what.... do I dooooooooo??
Chip: DUST storm!
<Jeff scats>
Chip: Windy windy dust.
Jeff: Sandy teeth!
Chip: Trumpet solo!
<Jeff mimes trumpet and plays a single note>
Jeff: Dust STOOOOOOOOORM!
Sandy, sandy airrrrrrrrr...
Chip: We should probably wear some kind of ventilating mask.
Jeff: A tumbleweed just went from there... to THEEEEEERE!
DUST STOOOOORM! <begins miming trumpet>
Chip: Here comes a cyclone, just look at them
I'll never find my Autie Emmmm!
Jeff: There is no place like... <in falsetto> home
And no matter how far my wanderlust may roam
Chip: There's something in my heart that keeps me safe and warm.
It's a du...
Jeff <interrupting, again>: DUST STOOOOOOOORM!
DUST STOOOOOORM!
Chip: It's your old trusty
Not damp and musty
Jeff: <interrupting> Gonna make your tractor tires all rustyyyyyyyy
Both: It's a...
Jeff <attempts to muffle Chip>: DUST
Chip <seizes both microphones>: DUUUUUUUUUUUUST STOOOOOORM!
Gas Station Attendant
Wipe the Window, Hang the Freshener, Let's Go (Electronic)
Gold Miner
I Chip, You Dig (Motown)
Hog Farmer - "Sooie" (Country)
Hog Farmer - "Our Love is Like Pork" (French)
Jeff: Our love is like pork
Brad: <mimes harmonica>
Jeff: That's what I say
First you eat it, you crave it You digest it, your love goes away
I fell in love with you, my pig, you were the only one for me
When I said, "Do you want me,"
You would say, "Sooo, oui oui!"
Sooo, oui oui!
Chip: Sooo, oui oui!
Jeff: Sooo, oui oui!
Chip: Sooo, oui oui!
Our love was so nice, our love was so sweet
Our love was the other white meat
I know you think I'm a jerk
But I love, I love my little pork
Brad: Tell me... <Chip echoes> what you want me to do.
Jeff: He's singing! Shut the f*** up!
Brad: I want you to be my barbecue!
Chip: My barbecue...
Brad: Your love comes dripping off my fork
For you are the love that I love and I truly love pork
Jeff: Oh, love is like pork!
Chris: Oh!
Jeff: It's your one and your all
It's seems so right and yet it's filled with so much cholesterol!
Chris: And what will I do when my piggy is gone?
Au revoir, la petit cauchon!
Brad: <fake French>
Jeff: And when love, like pork, is finally through
I'll just say, "that'll do, pig!"
All: "That will do!"
Lawyer
Objection Overruled (Reggae)
Lumberjack - "Flap My Jack" (Tunes for Tots)
Jeff: Good evening, boys and girls.
Chip: <in an Australian accent> G'day!
Jeff: We've got a song to sing for you, and if you know the chorus, you can sing along.
Chip: This one's a cracker, so everybody's gonna have a good time! Am I right?
Jeff: Where are you from?
Chip: I don't know.
Jeff: <whispers> Wow!
What's the name of the song? I've already forgotten, because I have been drinking!
Chip: Can you kids say drinking?
Jeff: Oh, "Flap My Jack?"
Chip: Oh yes!
Jeff: "Flap My Jack!"
Flippity flap, flippity flap
Put a pancake on the stack
Everybody flap my jack!
Flippity flap, flippity flap
<Chip joins> Put a pancake on the stack
Everybody flap my jack!
Jeff: Ker-flop!
Chip: We've got one cake on the bottom
On top and in the middle
You pour a little batter
And you put it on the griddle
And then you're all done
If you want more you can come back
So everybody flippity flap
And you can flap my jack!
Chip and Jeff: Flippity flap, flippity flap <Chip forgets the words>
Jeff alone: Put a pancake on the stack
Everybody flap my jack!
Chip: Oh yes!
Both: Flippity flap, flippity flap
Put a pancake on the stack
Everybody flap my jack!
Jeff: Everybody now!
Both: Flippity flap, flippity flap
Put a pancake on the stack
Everybody flap my jack!
Chip: That's right!
Jeff: Just you, sir! <points the microphone at an audience member>
Audience Member: Flippity flap, flippity flap, flippity flap
Jeff: NO! WRONG! Flippity flap
Put a pancake on the stack
Everybody needs a good breakfast in the day.
Flippity flap, flippity flap
Put a pancake on the stack
And don't take my butter away!
Chip: The batter, the batter
Soft as silk
The batter, the batter,
Is buttermilk!
The batter, the batter,
The better the batter, the bitter the batter, the batter the bitter, the batter, the batter...
PLAY BALL!
Jeff: Flippity flap, flippity flap
Put a pancake on the stack
Everybody flap my jack!
Everybody now!
Jeff/Chip/Greg/Ryan: Flippity flap, flippity flap
Put a pancake on the stack
Everybody flap my jack!
Real Estate
Mi Casa (Latin)
There's a Leak in the Bathroom and There's Only One Bedroom, Oh My (Funk)
Steel Worker
Our Love is Like Hot Rivets in the Pants (Mambo)
Blowing My Stack ('70s Rock)
Stockbroker - "Bailout" (Memphis Soul)
Jeff and Chip: <alternating> Huh! Yeah!
Jeff: I gotta fix the stand!
Hey! Scream and shout!
Let me hear you wail "bailout!"
I said, hey! Scream and shout!
When I stay "wail," you all gonna bail me out.
I gotta fix the stand!
Chip: Well, Imma gonna go to a fancy jail
And my company's too big to fail
The government will help me, no no doubt
Uncle Sam is gonna bail me out.
Bail me out!
Jeff: Baby, I know most of you's poor
A guy named Madoff made off with your door
Oh baby, when it rains it can hair
Come on and bail!
Chip and Jeff: You've got to bail! Bail me out!
You've got to bail! Got to bail me out!
Chip: I know that life can be risky
When you put your money down
There's a lot of people that you can cheat
Hollywood all around!
<dance break>
Jeff: Chip, let me see you go all the way down
Bail it out, Chip! Bail it out, bail it out to the ground!
Chip: <wails and does a split>
Jeff: Let me hear you wail and shout
When I say "bail," you say bail me out!
Chip: I said "bail!" "Bail me out!
I said bail! Bail me out!
One more, I said bail! Bail me out!
Jeff: <pointing the microphone at an audience member> Just you! Bail!
Audience member: "Bail me out!"
Jeff: Very special!
Chip: Listen, I've gotta go to prison now. We don't want to go to prison. But we've got to go to prison! You've been a great audience! One of these days you're gonna send your money; you're gonna send your taxes; and you're gonna bail me out!
Jeff and Chip: You're gonna baaaaaail... Bail me out!
Stripper - "You Gotta Tip Me a Twenty" (Elizabethan)
Chip: Hey nonny nonny and a yo ho ho
Jonathan: Sha la la la la
Jeff: With a nonny nonny hey and a shonny nonny na
Chip: Nonny nonny
Jonathan: Sha la la la la
Jeff: Hey there, Mr., hey there, son
Don't give me nickels, don't give me a one
If you want to tip me, you'd better give me plenty
Tip me twenty
Chip: If you want me to lose these pantaloons
You'd best go get your gold dubloons
I know that you haven't got any
So be gone cause you can't tip... me... twenty
Jeff and Jonathan: Nonny nonny nonny nonny hey ho
Jonathan: Well you've definitely got something going on
And I hate to say that stripper is his mom
All: Hey nonny nonny nonny
Jeff: If it's gold and it's money that you all lack
Don't throw it on the stage; you can stick it in my crack.
Everybody out there give me many many
If you're going to tip me, tip me....
Chip and Jonathan: Twenty
Jeff: Sha la la la la la looo la laaa!