This is the Whoserpedia's page for Rock Out lyrics, covering the game played on the Australian series.
Botched Nose Job
I took my nose to get it fixed
'Cause it had a bunch of cricks.
Went in there, if you mean it.
It came out looking more like a penis.
Well, I wear a mask. Don't want you looking at me.
Had a little accident. My nostrils numbered three.
You might think that I'm living in hell.
Well, I don't look too good, but boy can I smell.
Look at me. Don't I look like just some fun?
Can you just see the procedure that I just had done?
Babe, it is totally all the fashion.
Don't you think that I just look like another Kardashian?
I've had some work done. It's kind of drastic.
Started with my boobs, moved up to rhinoplastic.
But let me tell you, one thing that I really feel.
I know you can tell that all my lips are real.
All: All my lips are real!
Nine long months, he stayed inside her.
Oh, the thing just up in a vagina.
I'm sorry, you broke my heart
Then your fucking son tore me apart.
The doctor was surprised that he couldn't get through to us.
He kept shouting out, "There's a kid in your uterus!"
We were so happy and our hearts went boom.
Then the doctor said, "Hey go get a womb!
I know where a baby comes from. It comes from sex,
But to all the girls out there, I've got no context.
So, I will do one thing. I'll take off my hat,
Because as a man, I could never do that.
I'm proud of you women. As a man, I couldn't get a baby out of my dick.
Well, I don't want a baby and I know that that's wild,
But for the past few years, I've been dating a 30-year-old manchild.
I put up with a lot, and yes, at times it got crappy,
But I had to draw the line when he started wearing a nappy.
All: Started wearing a nappy!
Cheese For Breakfast
I wake up, yeah in the morning,
Walking down to a cafe with an awning.
What do I want? Hold the toast.
Give me just the cheese that I love the most.
Oh no! I spent all day shitting!
I have lots of regrets, but the one regret in most is
Starting my day with a grilled cheese toasty.
I feel so weird. I'm starting to wiltin'.
Never ever start your day with stilton.
Cheese, please, on my plate.
I like big cheese. I think it's great.
I'll have it at nighttime, lunch as well,
But my favourite time is breakfast, 'cause cheese is swell.
I'm feeling kind of sick and I'm feeling kind of ill.
Excuse me, waiter. Can I have the bill?
I'm feeling quite sick and I'm feeling quite spent.
Oh, shit. I just ate cheese and I'm lactose intolerant.
All: Lactose intolerant!
I love to eat. It's my competition.
Will you sign competitive eating petition?
I love eating until my tongue goes numb.
What am I eating? It is your mom.
Don't care about nutrition. Don't care about the taste.
I am competitive. No food goes to waste.
I eat and eat and eat some more.
I eat so much, I can't fit out my own front door.
I am from the place called UNICEF,
And I'm gonna tell you. I'm feeling quite upset.
You are wasting a lot of food for a lot of people who are poor.
But, no I'm just joking. Eat some more.
Go on. You've got another 40 left in you!
Well, I told this guy I like eating knobs
And poor thing. He misunderstood me, thought I meant blowjobs.
The whole time, I swear I was just talking about butter
But hell, I've decided to do it. I'm gonna get my slut on.
All: Gonna get my slut on!
I got skin that doesn't crack
Because I put moisurizer on my back.
Oh yeah. I heard that it goes along the rear.
I took my mom's advice and didn't put moisurizer in my ear.
You know, it brings tears to my eyes
When I see somebody who does not moisurize.
So, I've got some advice. Do not fight us
Moisturize or you might end up with dermatitis.
Here's some free advice I just wanted to say.
You should bloody moisurize every single day.
You might think it's not fun at all
Because it's not.
Get a better fucking hobby, mate. Get a better fucking hobby, at you.
A boy broke up with me, and my heart was all achy breaky.
He told me that it was because my skin was too flakey.
My hair was falling everywhere. Yeah, things were quite rough.
Upstairs and down below, I also had dandruff.
All: Also had dandruff!
I'm funny. I'm quite the card.
When I run, baby, I'm hard.
Sometimes I take the clothes off.
Nudie run! Showing meself off. Yeah!
You know what never makes me fail to say "Hooray"
Is going for a run in my lingerie.
But here's a tip for your next nudie run:
Don't invite your mum.
I'm feeling quite sore today.
I bet your wondering a thing, so I will say
I did a nudie run. I broke the law.
You can see from my limp that my cock was scrapping the floor.
Aww. It's huge!
My body's good. My body's beaut.
I look awful good in my birthday suit.
When I'm running, it's clothes I'm shedding,
But maybe I should not have done it at my sister's wedding.
All: At my sister's wedding!
I make money, more than you get,
And I do it flying up in a jet.
No, I'm lying. That's the way it goes.
I make my money from just taking off my clothes.
Well, I'm a pilot and I fly real high.
I take my business up into the sky.
I could've been a landlord, and work in a pub.
But I prefer when I fly and work in the Mile High Club.
I fuck on planes.
I fly planes through the sky.
A lot of prople ask me. They say, "Why? Why? Why?"
It's for the money, honey. Can't you see?
I'm actually a plane. Get on top of me.
Well, I'm a pilot and I fly around and round.
But I never actually did any training here on the ground.
But my employers, well, they don't really care
'Cause you guessed it. I'm a pilot for Tiger Air!
All: Get on Tiger Air!